Sketches of Life

I WISH.

What I want to do right now is going away, somewhere, anywhere all by myself. If I am in NYC then I would have gone on the New York Bus Charter, sitting comfortably all by myself just looking past the high rise building in the city.

I do not have any feelings in me right now. Am I happy or am I sad? Neither! I am numb. Some people will declare this feeling as PMS but I am not the PMSy type of person and I can assure you that I am not PMSing right now.

At first I was telling hubby that we are definitely not going for a holiday this year due to the circumstances that we have to live with but I changed my mind now. I want to go somewhere, anywhere with my family before next year or maybe in January. For I know after that, I will be stuck at home, working my butt up raising the kids and helping hubby earning some good money. I have to compensate what I have let go when I resigned. It was my decision and not his. I can’t put the burden on him. Have never been when it comes to money.

God never promises a bed of roses.

Rainbow has always been associated with God’s blessing.

In Genesis 9:11-17, after the Big Flood, God promised Noah that He will never again send flood to destroy the earth. As a sign of His promise, God has set rainbow in the cloud as the sign of the covenant between Him and the earth and never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.

Since then, it is a blessing that it does not flood (big time) when it rains.

Since then, people of the earth associate the appearance of rainbow as God’s blessing.

Last month a few times I saw 2 rainbows at the same time, one on top of the other. Does that means that I will receive double blessings soon?

Unfortunately, since then I lost my major online “income”. We are left with double home loan to pay from our own pocket money. Next month hubby will have to work double shift because his employee resigned.

Where is my double blessing then?

Maybe He will surprise me with it soon.

We are preparing for an evening of laughter and water.

I have not been playing water balloons since I left Girl Guides; almost 2 decades ago! Those days we only use plastic bag which are not so breakable and we have thin balloons which will easily burst.

I burst a few while filling them just now.

I am gonna be so wet afterwards (sounds so wrong! hahaha) and I am gonna make them soak to their bones!

Met Jess on Monday and got to know that she listed the dresses she sewn on Mudah. She told me that listing is FOC so I went to list my apartment there for rent. As I was checking the other apartments for sale and rent, saw one apartment in the same taman as mine selling cheaper than the purchased price! Oh No!!! My apartment has no value.

The location is good. I think the lack of maintenance caused the place to look really run down, dirty and smelly. Last month we were informed that new management will take over but last minute changed their mind! I think they see no hope in saving the apartments!

This is also the reason it is so difficult to find tenant for my apartment. I even reduced the rent by RM250! If my apartment is in Wilmington NC real estate, I won’t have all this headache and heartache.

Everyone is coming back today for the “Hunger Ghost Prayer.” I am a Christian but MIL isn’t and so does a few of my in-laws. The house will be packed and noisy too. I doubt I can write a good post.

I will take this time to take a break updating my old blogs and concentrates on the new ones. It is easy to start many but it is a challenge to update them or even start writing in them.

I’ll be back on Monday (if I am not busy helping hubby at his shop) or Tuesday.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Since I have to censored a lot of things when writing in my existing blogs because there are a lot of spies out there, I started not one but a few more blogs to let my fingers run wild. I am completely anonymous there. You can’t even see any profile there.

It is so great being free to write whatever you want without others telling you to remove tnem because it will offend so and so. But it is ok for them to go around and tell others about me. I have to be concern about their reputation but not vice versa.

My mom reminded me that the world is round.

Last week, I got my left car tyre mended. The tyre did not get inflated immediately. After 3 days, my steering became so heavy. (I wonder if you have power steering you would feel the same as I do when your tyre has not enough air.) When I went to pump it, the air pressure is less than 100 (dunno what). It is supposed to be between 220 or 230. So sent it to tyre service shop; the uncle found a nail stuck in it. Can’t imagine driving with a nail on my tyre for 1 week! That was my left tyre.

Today my right tyre gave the same problem. This time, no nail but the “place where you pump air” (dunno what is that called) Hello, I am a lady driver! I dunno about car Auto Parts, I only know how to drive and try my very best not to scratch my car or others! was loose; that’s what the uncle at the service shop said.

That is fixed; RM5 terbang.

I wish I can 100% concentrate in bringing up my children and educate them at home.

I wish I can blog just for the fun of it without any pressure to earn from blogging.

Since the time has yet to come…

I wish I have more time to teach my children at home, read to them and play with them.

I wish I have more time to update my blogs.

I wish I would have more clicks on my Adsense!

I foresee that this month is going to be a busy month for me. More writing to be done, more blogging coz I created more blogs! I hope I will be able to put into practice the bits and pieces of what I’ve learnt from the SEO Queen, a few friendly bloggers from neighbouring country and also whatever I can grasp from the ebooks and SEO forums.

As for last month, praise God that I still got my one month salary (no more, no less) if I were still be working in the office. The best thing about it is, I get to be at home and spend more time with my children especially my son. And learn not to spend so much!

My plan to go for a holiday this month has been scrapped. No extra money; forget about holiday. Make money first! Suffer now, enjoy later.

I surprised myself when I woke up from my nap at 5.30pm yesterday. I went in to nap with my children around 2pm; more like forcing them to nap. If I don’t lay down with them they won’t nap at all; instead they will play the whole afternoon, sleep around 10pm and woke up very cranky the next day for school.

This is the first time I nap so long without waking up in between. My body and mind must be very tired. Anyway, I woke up feeling guilty; like I wasted so much time sleeping instead of working. So after my children went to bed at night; I start my night shift until 4am!

Set the alarm at 7am because I have to wake up to send my girls to school. I planned to cook noodle for their breakfast but I just couldn’t open my eyes even after rubbing them a few times. By 7.30am, I dragged myself out from the bed and cycled to buy Nasi Lemak for them. Cycling does help to keep me awake until now.

My body clock has gone haywire!

All of a sudden I felt a huge yoke was placed on my shoulder. Can I stand up? I can but for how long I am not sure but I am trusting that God will lift that yoke soon. How soon, only He knows.

Have to live life to the simplest now.

I can forget about going for holidays.
No more dining out.
No more supper.
No more buying our wants.

Come to think of it, stress and no supper will help me slim down!

Always think positive.

Today is really a fruitful Sunday. We had fruit feast and some work are done around the house.

The men cut down a coconut tree because it was too near to the durian tree; a bridge for the squirrel to cross over. Then they made a bench using the coconut trunk. Now we have a bench under a rambutan tree for us to sit to enjoy our rambutans in a month time.

The fruit feast started with Watermelon while the men were busy making the bench. Then we had some fresh young coconut from the tree that has just been chopped down.

After some hard labor, their stomach started to growl and we had our durian right under the rambutan tree. While enjoying our durians, one durian dropped. Yay! Fresh from the tree!!! No pix though coz I was busy eating durians too!

In the kitchen, the maid was busy cooking Pengat Durian; durian cooked in coconut milk and gula melaka. We are too full to eat that. We shall savor it before dinner.

The children was not left out…they had so much fun playing with the sawdust!

If you are looking for jobs in Boston, be ready to bid farewell to this kinda life.

Nervous, Scare, Worried, Uncertain and very stressful too.

My gastric juice is oozing out now. It normally does when I am in stress!

Manage to de-stress for a lil while just now, watched Hancock at GSC, Mahkota Parade.

My heart beats so fast when I open my email.

I received yet another bad news…my whole body felt so lifeless.

Looking forward to Monday night though and hope that everything will be back as usual or even better.

I am telling God that if you are going to stop blessing me financially, you better start blessing my husband!

Take a look at the date on the cheque. I wrote that this morning to pay my girls kindy fee and half yearly books. At that time, I thought I only got the month wrong. Today is July already; not June!

Then later at 10am, I brought my maid for a hair cut. That’s my parking coupon. Noticed the date again? I got the month correct this time but I mati-mati thought that today is 2nd! Thank God the enforcer didn’t come to check; if not sure kena saman already! :S

I only realised that I got my date wrong when I started to do my blogging assignment! See lar…only one day jobless, I don’t know my dates already.

Now I am thinking…where to go at 10am tomorrow since the parking coupon is still valid.